At the time of my son’s death, we lived in Concord, NC, where I am at present. Garrett H Terrell died on 9-22-03 at the age of 11. He died 6 days before his 12th birthday, which became his memorial service date. Garrett was in the 7th grade and a typical boy of the time. He enjoyed playing chess, listening to music, riding his skateboard, and playing video games. His passion was art. He was a wonderful artist. One of his final drawings to me has become the title of his story, if I ever sit down and finish the book. It has become my passion – “Remember Me”. His donation was somewhat special. Being a diabetic, his pancreas could not be used, but everything else could. He also gave corneas, and other bones and tissues after I was a little insistent. The case worker explained to me that children don’t usually give bone due to it is still developing. You have to be 12. Well, I informed her that he will turn 12 in 6 days…how 12 do you have to be? She checked on some things and came back to me…we can take them! Yes! Now, instead of 7-8 people being helped, it would be 50+. Several weeks after his death, I received the initial letter of where the organs went. He is spread from the North Carolina coast to the California coast, and up and down the east coast of the United States.

Since that time, I have found out he has impacted the lives of 156 people (as of 2021) through organ, bone, and tissue donation. I have met the liver recipient. That meeting made the front page of The Charlotte Observer. It was a very special day. The heart was not able to be used intact. Instead, the valves were used. One valve was used on a 2-day old boy that I have had the pleasure of meeting and watch grow up into a wonderful young man. A kidney recipient sent me a simple thank you note, but I had to have it translated. It is very special to me as well…his handwriting. This picture is special to me in that I can see the man he will become. The name on the front of the bookbag shows his gaming interest and reminds me of his goal in life of becoming a game designer. When I take a close up of the hand on the knee, I see a man’s hand…the strength, yet gentleness that he possesses. The watch…time…something he would always have to be mindful of as a diabetic. And in the same breath, realizing I didn’t have enough of it with him.

Over the last 19 years, I have learned several things about grief. There are basic stages, but that is where the similarities end. No two people will experience it the same way or in the same order or in the same time frame. But I do believe that it will all depend upon the individual and how he/she deals with it. The biggest thing for me was to find a passion…a meaning…a mission to keep me moving forward. Please don’t wallow in the sorrow. Yes, take your time to grieve, but find a passion, a good, to take away from the loss. I know some have gotten laws made or changed, started foundations/scholarships, built things in memory, etc. I am keeping my promise to my son –“The world will know you were here.” This link is to a movie I made of Garrett’s story. It was a God-send, and my catapult: www.vimeo.com/9957697. This has been my passion…to get this seen around the world, and then some. The mission has been accomplished, but there is plenty of room for “icing on the cake”.